Times that try men's souls

History is important.  Kids will disagree, but we all know differently.  With teaching history there are often multiple ways of looking at it… on the surface, and the meanings that go much deeper.  To say that the Revolutionary Army fought for our freedom from 1775-1783 is on the surface.  To discuss the struggles and triumphs of the war is deeper.

With tomorrow being Veteran’s Day, and with everyone else out there suffering at times with one thing or another, I feel compelled to write today.  

“These are the times that try men’s souls.”  What does that mean?  Some may look upon that as a piece of writing that helped the Revolutionary Army stay motivated when ‘the times were tough,’ but what were those times?  And how were they tough? And how does this part of history affect or inspire me today?  

First, let's talk about what those times are that try men’s souls.  In revolutionary times the Army is gathered in winter camp at Morristown NJ, and they had suffered mostly defeat and retreat for the last 6 months at the hands of the British.  The piece of writing from Thomas Paine was written just two days before the infamous crossing of the Delaware that turned the war.  You could imagine, though, that before the strike against the Hessians in the winter of 1776 that many of the soldiers were looking forward to their discharge.  Things were hard and they may have thought that the ride would have been different.  Paine discusses the two types of people in the essay as ‘summer soldiers/sunshine Patriots’ or those who ‘come forth and meet’ to repulse the enemy.  In Revolutionary times, the British and the crown were the enemy.  He states that it would be better with too much force than too little.

What tries your souls today? Could it be Depression or mental illness brought on by difficult situations?  Could it be the loss of a family member, or a divorce?  Could it be sickness, disability, or economic circumstance?  Could it be that you have been severely embarrassed?  The answer is yes…. To all of them… and more.  

Whatever your times are, those times that try your soul, they are yours and your exclusively.  You may find people on that lonely path at different points than you, and perhaps they understand, but very rarely do the roads and shoes match each situation.  

I know in my life I have had a few too many roads, or so it feels at times, that no one understands.  I know there have been times I Have kept it in and only let myself cry on long walks by myself.  Other times I have reached out for help, only to feel ignored and judged.  When I post something that may be deep from my heart, it really is a cry for help.  What generally happens, though, is that I am brushed aside to maybe be asked about it down the line.  When it is too far in the future and I am asked about it I going to feel like you aren’t asking because you care, it is because you just want to know what the latest is.  There is a difference there.  For a celebrity, the whole world will know their problem and talk about it.  They will offer advice to the world what this person should do, but the person that is really suffering from the problem does not have proper attention paid to the problem and they do something crazy in the eyes of the world.  What those people want is someone who cares.  

Do we care?  When Thomas Paine wrote the ‘American Crisis,’ he was reminding people of why we should care about the Revolutionary war and why the soldiers should be loved, supported, loved, that they should never give up.  He wrote that there is a great ‘object at stake.’  He is meaning freedom, liberty, and independence from Britain.  We can still use these words though, for other things.  We can look upon someone’s life as just as important.  We can band together and get too great of a force, because too weak of a force would be bad.  Sometimes we don’t know exactly how much force to put together.  Lets just put it all together.  

Last night, I talked with someone on her way back from taking a family member to the University Psych ward to evaluate them and treat them for distress that was heading towards suicide.  No one knows if, when, or how it would maybe have happened, all they know is that this person was in trouble.  The tests won’t always tell us all we need to know individually, but together they may paint a better picture.  Could this person have survived at home and been safe?  Sure.  The problem is, we just don’t know.  

When we come across people who are obviously struggling, do we just ignore them and wait to see what happens?  If you think you have nothing to give, do you at least try?  If you think you have read between the lines that someone is struggling, although they come across strong, do you ask them about it anyway… going with your gut?  I’ll never forget coming across an Instagram post and thinking that something wasn’t right.  I didn’t know this person very well, so perhaps I can feel ok that I did nothing.  Perhaps they would be ok anyway.  Here is the post:

“From a young age I was introduced to the word ‘Survival’ because I was forced by abandonment to Realize that someone might not always be there to feed me or hold me.  The past 20 years I have fought to become the person that I am and I am not going to let anyone ever tell me I am someone that I am not.  I love the sun, I take crayons to church… I eat my sandwiches without condiments, and I adore school.  I am an independent person.  People always talk about how they love their ‘better half,’ but I am a whole person on my own; I have two legs, two arms; I am complete on my own and I can make decisions for myself.  I am comfortable in my own skin.  The person I am does not depend on anyone else.  I will go on living with or without the people who don’t fully appreciate the person I am and I will be forever grateful for the people who do support and love me.  No one can tell you who you are and don’t you dare let anyone make you cry because they don’t like the person you have created for yourself.”

It looks and sounds like this person is doing well.  Less than a week after this post she killed herself.

When people are lonely, scared, and/or reaching out for help we need to be aware.  It was no doubt hard for all of those who supported the revolutionary cause, let alone fought in it.  What Thomas Paine wrote, however is so applicable to us.  We value freedom/lives.  We want to be free from the suffering of Tyranny/depression.  We also will find that it is a better story that we endured the winter, ‘when nothing but hope and virtue could survive.’  Future generations will remember us if we step up.  If we survive the struggles, whether we are the one struggling or the one watching, we deserve the love of every man and woman.  I encourage all of us to take this advice, because the ‘harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.’

Let’s not be shy of helping others.  I know there have been times I have reached out only to be criticized and ignored.  Let us not be with those cowards.  

Brian L B 11.10.2017

My History/Government Thoughts of the day

The Social Contract... What is it?  As I have been teaching my students the last few days about philosophers and their thoughts on man, nature, and government,... I have been incredibly intrigued by the idea of the social contract. 

The Social Contract can go a few ways, the people choose everything that happens in the government as a true direct Democracy, and the government does it's part to give back to the people.... OR people can elect good people to be a representative government, and that government can do its part to give back to the people.

Either way, there is room for abuse.  Jean-Jacques Rousseau wrote that "as soon as any man says of the affairs of the State, 'What does it matter to me?' the State may be given up for lost."  In other words, for a democracy to work, all must be involved.  Is that really possible?  Even though Rousseau thought a direct democracy to be the best, he admitted that it also had its short comings. 

John Locke is famous for speaking of Life, Liberty, Property, and health as being natural rights.  Rights that are inalienable, or that should never be taken away.  In fact, he spoke about man's most basic state, a state of nature, and discussed how inherently good people are and how man would naturally respect each others 'natural rights.' Locke, however, did not believe that people were always equal, nor did he believe that all people should have the right to vote.  He believed that only adult male property owners should have the right to vote. 

Thomas Hobbes was a little more old school, and his way of thinking revolved around the success of having an absolute power.  Hobbes believed that man was inclined to fight and contend for everything he desired.  He believed that this would lead to a state of war, while in a state of nature.  The only answer to this problem was to have a supreme leader.  He believed that religion should be controlled by the state, and only one religion should be believed.  After all, religion would lead to conflict. 

There are many different views, but the most evident truth of all is this: If someone has power, they will abuse it.  Montesquieu believed that everything has laws, so there is a need to govern people, but laws can never be the same across the board to be effective.  He stressed moderate government, but at the same time warned that not all moderate government ensures political freedom.  To prevent abuse, those in government should be checked, so Montesquieu's answer  is to spread power around.  Does this mean that in a true democracy the people will have too much power?  ...and does it mean that in a representative government the congressmen will abuse their power?  According to Montesquieu, yes to all.  How do we spread power around and keep everyone happy?

The social contract is part of the solution as implemented by our United States founding fathers.  They knew that they did not like the power that the King exercised over them, or how they received no representation in Parliament.  In order to curb those abuses of power they agreed at first to allow the states to govern themselves, and then unite loosely as the United States.  That government failed.  Why?  Because the states took (and in some cases abused) the power that they had.  There was no way to check the power being used in the states.  States were taking advantage of other states, people were not enjoying their basic rights, and this because there was no check on the states power. 

The discussions during the Constitutional Convention centered around Federalism, and checks and balances in government.  It was established that there are rights that need to be defended.  The Declaration of Independence had the words "Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness," but a declaration of war is not a constitution.  The constitution had to be written to protect those rights, thus serving the governments obligations  to serve the people. 

In a social contract, the government exists to protect the people's rights.  This can be protecting life, liberty, property, and health.  The government, through the social contract, only gets it's power from the people.  The people give up some rights in order to enjoy more the rights that government promises to protect.  When I have asked in the past what rights some people would give up to enjoy more life and protection, some people respond with "I should never have to give up any rights to the government."  This answer is troublesome because I fear that no one truly understands the social contract that our founding fathers put together. 

Look at it this way, in a true state of nature as outlined by John Locke, people have perfect freedom.  That includes freedom to walk where you want, look at what you want to look at, say what you want to say, and do anything you want... including murder.  In a state of perfect freedom you can harm someone, even though Locke doesn't think you will naturally, but you can.  That also means that someone can harm you, without breaking a law... there are no laws.  This is the view of Hobbes now, where he describes people in a state of nature as living in fear and nothing else.

Would you give up your right to kill in order to have a government protect you from being killed? 

Would you pay taxes to support a military to protect our land if it meant that we were safe from Chinese invasion? 

We give up things, taxes and rights, in order to be safe and to enjoy our natural rights of life, liberty, property, and health. 

I could go on and on with example, but when you think about everything you want from the government, are you willing to meet them halfway with satisfying some government expectations.

In the healthcare debate, (even though Locke did identify health as a natural right) would citizens be willing to eat better, exercise more, and do the things they are asked to if the government were to provide them with free health care? 

The truth is, America is larger, heavier, and more unhealthy than ever... with almost no end in sight, but some demand that the government do something about providing healthcare.  While wanting healthcare, some Americans are forced to eat 'healthy' school lunches, to which much of it goes to waste.  The days of understanding the social contract are gone.  People expect more from a government than they are willing to give, mostly because they lack the education.  Oh yeah, the government gives free education, but Americans find themselves in a debate about whether homework should even exists, arguing that kids get overloaded.  What we really have is a society that does not value education, but expects the government to fix all.  If America fails, it is because of a simple misunderstanding of government and the social contract that was put in place by people who relentlessly studied the words of philosophers, and discovered what works best for us. 

Good Luck America, open a book sometime.   

After the Fall

It's amazing to read the words I wrote four and a half years ago.  At that point in my life I had it all, but was still depressed.  I was able to get frustrated over others struggles, without truly understanding how bad mine would get.  I wish that every time I wrote a talk in my head, or a lesson plan for a spiritual class I would have written it down.  I'm truly amazing at what I do, but I still have a hard time accepting and forgiving myself.

I don't have my family anymore.  I spoke in the last post about how I had a family.  Since then I have driven my wife away, and now she in the arms of a new husband.  I have lost many friends, and lost my good reputation in the community.  I slipped.  I let my loneliness and sense of rejection take over and I went looking for excitement, and acceptance.

Here is the good news:  I'm alive.  I too spent a great deal of time contemplating suicide.  I was low.  Back in 2012 I couldn't understand why someone wanted to take their life.  By the end of 2013 I was a survivor.

What to do now?  I typically get attached to people easily, and now I am attached.  Two days ago I was on the verge of basically planning a wedding... today I am unsure if things have changed... or not.  My personality is too much for people sometimes... I want ... desire... beg for attention sometimes.  It drives them away.

I'm hoping for this new love.  This new devotion.  This new family.  Lets just wait and see what happens.

Before the Fall

There has got to be something done! I am sick an tired of reading about people taking their own lives. It's bad enough when a tragedy strikes and someone loses their loved one unexpectedly, but to have children, parents, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, cousins, etc... have to deal with the pain of losing their loved one because of suicide just leaves a whole lot of questions unanswered. I hate these moments when I have so much going through my mind that I don't even know what to say.

 Lets see, in my life, which I think it hard and unbearable at times, I have a family that is healthy. I have two good jobs that work with each other. I have respect within my family, friends, and community. I have what I need, but occasionally I will get down and pitty myself, thinking that it could be better. While I am doing this, I have friends who have lost loved ones. Friends that are Husbands who welcomed a new baby in the world only to have their wife die as a result of childbirth. Friends who have lost close friends to suicide. Friends who have husbands kill themselves shortly after the divorce was final, leaving a son without a father. Those are most of the situations involving death that I am close to. But when it comes to those I don't know, I still have some kind of connection. When a teenager was killed a few months ago while walking down the street, I not only got to talk and meet the mother as she mourned, I also know the family of the driver who hit him. When two kids fresh out of high school took their lives this summer, I know them from community events or mutual hobbies. One I would play basketball with at the rec center on occasion, the other participated in a radio station event that I hosted. When I was in Salt Lake City this summer for a concert, I saw a booth for a suicide prevent walk/activities. I felt a need to take their information and try to do something to help the community. Have I done anything since taking their information? No. Why? With the position like the one I'm in in this particular community, I am beginning to feel like it is my responsibility to act, to be proactive, and to prevent. Are there people that I can be there for who need me? Am I doing enough? When I do do more, can I be strong around these people who need me? Can I avoid my own emotions taking over? What if I get discouraged? What if I need someone? Can I avoid overdoing it? For much of my life I have not had people I could talk to. I worry sometimes about my emotional health. I have people I can vent to, but I always get the feeling like they really don't care. I feel, honestly, that they are too busy laying judgement on me than wanting to be there for me.

 Deep down, I really don't care if someone does judge me, but when I see that they are, I lose my trust in them. Sometimes I wish that there was ONE person that would not judge me. So is this the first lesson of how I can help? Refusing to lay judgement on others? How can I really show someone I care and that I am different from others, and the world? How much is too much care? At what point, if any, should I open my mouth and offer advice? Sometimes I DONT want advice... but some people do... I have ruined friendships, way too many of them, by trying to help... and trying too HARD! When people are in distress, sometimes they don't want people hovering around them trying to do everything for them, they want to figure it out on their own... But when do you know when to step in, and when to step out? If anyone has the answer to that, let me know. My thoughts, unorganized and probably confusing, but blogger never fails to publish my words without judgement. Brian